Life is full of transitions, especially when becoming an empty nester. Reaching this milestone brings a mix of emotions to parents. It’s something they have anticipated for years. Yet, a new trend is emerging among empty nesters: the rise of “renesters.” Post-pandemic remote work lifestyles continue at many businesses, making a move back home a smart move for recent college grads to save some serious cash. While it’s a special time having kids back in the nest, there are new considerations to navigate. As an empty nester with three renesters at different times, I can definitely chime in with experience on this topic. Let’s explore the unique dynamics of life as empty nesters with renesters.
Gearing Up for the Next Chapter
It takes time to gear up for the next chapter as an empty nester. You get mentally prepared. You think of projects. You plan lots of travel. You consider downsizing. However, hitting this milestone is simply hard. Parents have bittersweet feelings, experiencing a sense of loss, newfound freedom, and a need to redefine their roles. While some parents may initially struggle, becoming an empty nester provides an opportunity for personal growth and rediscovery. It’s a time to think back at your hopes and dreams before you had kids. Setting new goals creates direction and a sense of personal fulfillment.
The Rise of Renesters
For modern empty nesters, however, rising inflation and an uncertain economy is bringing new grads home for a period of time as “renesters”. New grads often take jobs in their home city in order to live at home and save money. This is especially helpful for grads with mounting student debt, providing a financial break to catch up on payments. Career transitions or personal issues can also lead kids back home. No matter the reason, it’s a special time when you can welcome your kids back in the nest. Enjoy the time together and support them as they begin to navigate the challenges of the real world.
Empty Nester Considerations with Renesters
For empty nesters, having their children back home can provide a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment. It allows them to spend quality time with their adult children, share wisdom, and offer support during important life transitions.
There are a few considerations to keep in mind when your college grad comes back home. For example, financial considerations, space limitations, and the need for privacy are factors that renesters will likely want to discuss. Setting realistic expectations at the outset will ensure everyone gets along well.
Things to Consider:
- Treat them Like Adults: Remember your kids are different now that they are college grads. They are adults and have lived on their own for some time now. They expect to be treated like adults with the freedoms they experienced in college. As such, navigating your new “roommate” requires open communication, mutual respect, and clearly defined boundaries to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.
- Rediscovering Shared Spaces: Renesting can present challenges in terms of space and privacy. Many businesses continue operating on a remote or hybrid basis post-COVID. With renesters back in the house, it can be challenging for everyone to find their work space. Privacy may often feel impinged. It is important for everyone to designate their individual spaces so things run smoothly.
- Discuss Expectations with Open Communication: Keep things running smoothly on a number of fronts. Have a discussion at the outset and ongoing on expectations. Whether it’s keeping things clean, informing each other on evening plans or paying for their own things, keep the lines of communication open. Remind them that they are “roommates” who should have the same respect at home as if they are living with others. Same expectations, just different people. For example, it’s common courtesy and a safety issue to let your roommates know where you are going — it’s not being nosy. Keeping expectations clear is very helpful.
- Deepening Relationships: Renesting provides an opportunity for adult children and their parents to deepen their relationships. Your college grad is an adult with loads of opinions, hopes and dreams. It’s wonderful to see the world in their eyes, where they often teach parents new ideas and modern takes on existing issues. Dinner discussions can range from politics, societal norms, relationships or work. With a newfound sense of maturity, adult children can form new connections with their parents, appreciating them as individuals and friends. For empty nesters, witnessing their child’s growth and achievements can bring immense joy and pride.
- It’s Their Life: It can be easy to get in your kids business 24/7. But remember, it’s their life. Give them freedom to come and go as they please. Remember, they expect the same level of independence they experienced in college. Offer privacy and don’t hover. If they are upset about something, it’s easy to jump to the rescue. Listen to your kid’s cues and reactions when faced with a problem. Sometimes they may want to talk, sometimes they want to simply vent and other times they want to be left alone to solve it. Give them space and they will come to you when needed.
- Continue With Your Plans: For empty nesters, this stage of life should provide the same newfound freedom and opportunities for personal growth. Explore new hobbies, travel the world, volunteer, and even consider new career paths. Continue focussing on self-care, personal goals and new adventures. In fact, kids who see their parents forging ahead with their lives are happier. It’s one less worry on their mind and you will serve as good role models.
- Enjoy This Time Together: Remember, having them home is only a temporary period of time. Jobs, relationships and friendships can change your time together quickly. Make the most of it and enjoy the time together.
Embrace Your Renesters In This Next Chapter
Life as empty nesters with renesters is an unexpected gift of more time together. Embrace this next chapter with enthusiasm and an open heart. The next ten years will bring many changes in their lives, with work, relationships, marriages and possibly their own children. Let them enjoy a moment to catch their breath before forging ahead. They will save money, get shored up and feel ready to tackle the world. By maintaining open communication, empty nesters can make the most of the unexpected joy of having their children back in the nest, even if only for a little while.
Leave a Reply